Don’t People Please!

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Business consultant, Phil Jackson from Build Your Salon discusses how not all opinions count.

We are people pleasers: we must be.

There are not many industries where your job, your career, your very success relies on the fact you can form an intimate relationship very quickly and maintain that friendly relationship with a customer over a long period of time.

The problem is that we reach a level of success where being a people-pleaser can start to hold us back. Let me explain.

I recently took a phone call from another salon coach - quite frequently I get approached by other mentors and coaches for a kind of "getting to know you call".  There is not usually an agenda: it is our form of networking I suppose.

I took a call from a guy who seemed nice - I had not spoken to him before but we ended up chatting for about an hour and a half. He had come across my work in the past and he made one tiny throw away comment during our conversation. He probably did not mean anything by it, and I do not think there was malice behind it, but it had a real impact on me. He said: "I didn’t expect to like you".

That tiny little comment is what stayed with me after. I started to replay it, lying in bed that night wondering what I was doing wrong that makes people switch off. I wondered about the content of my writing and my videos because I always share with an open heart and my intention is always that you have a stronger business because of our time together.

Nearly a week later I kind of had to give myself a metaphorical slap around the face and to remind myself that the only opinion that matters is that of your marketplace. It does not matter what anyone else thinks - certainly not your competitor.

This guy is not and will never be my customer. He is not you; he is not my audience.

So, I am not sure who needs to hear this, but I am giving you full permission to ignore as many opinions about your business as you would like from now on! Learn from my week of paranoia!

There are people out there who would try and tell you that you are too ambitious, there are people out there who will tell you the things that you are striving for are beyond you or are unrealistic, or maybe that you do not even deserve them.

Those are the kinds of opinions that will hold you back; trying to please those people will destroy your success. They are not coming from a place of harm; they are not trying to hurt you - in fact, the opposite; they are trying to keep you safe, and it is uncomfortable for people to watch you change.

Recognise the fear in others - then ignore them!

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